Shut out...

I don't know what is worse as a mother... Having your child screaming for you as you walk out the door, or having them close the door in your face after a quick smooch. I guess I would rather have the door closed on my face. That is just because it means she is happy with who she is with and trusts I will come back. It also means she doesn't need me all the time though... and that is a big adjustment for a breastfeeding mom. I used to be her staple. And as exhausting as it was, it was a good feeling. I was doing right by her and giving her the best start I could. On the other hand, having them scream for you as you walk out of the door completly wrecks your night. Although it shows they need you, or at least they think they do, you feel horrible for walking out the door. What kind of parent leaves when their child is distraught?? Perfectly good parents have to do it every day. Someone has to make sure there is food and a place to stay...and ofcourse gymboree closthes =oP I am just glad I work nights and only miss about an hour each night before work and just 2 days of the week. So... tonight I packed my bag, got a quick hug and a "MUUWHAA" (smooch), and had the door closed in my face. I then smiled, blew a kiss at the closed door and walked to the truck thankful that my little girl was happy, healthy and knew her family was there for her. That she comes first.